Hot Blonde Jokes

A blonde had just returned to the United States from a month-long European vacation. She’d been to England, France, Spain, Italy, Germany, and Switzerland.

When she had landed, her boyfriend met her at the airport, hugged her, and asked how she enjoyed her trip. “It was awful,” she grumbled. “The whole place was filled with foreigners.”

A man asked that the blonde painter, paint him in the nude. “Oh no!” replied the talented artist. “I’m sorry, but I don’t do that sort of thing.” “I’ll pay you double your normal fee,” the man offered. “No thanks!” she replied. “Ok, I’ll give you five times what you normally charge,” the man said. The blonde artist thought about it for a moment and replied, “Well, all right, but you’ll have to let me at least wear my socks. I need somewhere to put my brushes!”

A blonde female police officer pulls over a hot blonde woman in a convertible sports car for speeding. She walks up to the car and asks the blonde for her driver’s license. The blonde driver searches through her purse in vain until finally she asks, “What does it look like?”

The blonde police officer tells her, “It’s that thing with your picture on it.” The blonde driver searches for a few more seconds, pulls out her compact, opens it, and sure enough sees herself.

A blonde and a redhead were on an airplane when the engine blew and they were heading into a crash. Looking around inside the plane, they could only find one parachute and a flashlight. The redhead quickly grabbed the parachute and the flashlight and said to the blonde, “Ok, this is a magic flashlight. I’ll shine it on the ground and you can slide down the beam of light. Then, I’ll follow you with the parachute.” The blonde looked at her skeptically and said, “Do you really think I’m that dumb? I know that as soon as I’m halfway down, you’re going to turn it off!”

A young, blonde woman was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the ocean. Just as she was about to jump, a young sailor came by and saw her sobbing and tottering on the edge of the pier.

Taking pity on her, he said, “Listen, no matter how bad things may seem, you have a lot to live for. I’m heading to Europe in the morning and, if you like, I can stow you away on my ship. I promise I’ll take very good care of you and bring you food every day.” Moving closer, he put his arm around her and continued, “I’ll keep you happy, and you’ll keep me happy.” Feeling she didn’t have anything to lose, the blonde agreed to his suggestion.

How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Answer:  Two, one to hold the light bulb and one to spin the ladder around!

One day while on patrol, a police officer pulled over a car for speeding. He went up to the car and asked the driver to roll down her window. The first thing he noticed, besides the nice red sports car, was how hot the driver was! Blue eyes, blonde, the works.

“I’ve pulled you over for speeding, Ma’am. Could I see your drivers license?”

“What’s a license???” replied the blonde, instantly giving away the fact that she was as dumb as a stump.

“It’s usually in your wallet,” replied the officer. After fumbling for a few minutes, the driver managed to find it. “Now may I see your registration?” asked the cop.

A blonde was speeding on the highway when a police car pulled her over.

The policeman walks up to the blonde and says “Excuse m’am, could I please see your driving license and registration.”

The blonde looks at the policeman angrily and says “I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!”

Every dog, errrrr, I mean, cat has it’s day…

A blonde is walking down the street after a long day of shopping. She sees a brunette in the street jumping and yelling, “26…26…26…!” The blonde thinks this looks like a lot of fun, so she askes if she can join her, and the brunette says yes. The blonde puts down her bags and starts to jump and yell, “26…26…26…!” The blonde is having so much fun that she doesn’t notice that the brunette has worked her way up to the sidewalk. Suddenly the blonde gets hit by a truck. The brunette goes back in the street and starts jumping and yelling, “27…27…27…!”