Hot Blonde Jokes

Returning home from work one day, a blonde was shocked to find her house has been ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime. The police dispatcher had broadcast the call on the channels, and a K-9 unit patrolling nearby was the first to respond. As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps. Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, “I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman!”

A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. The blonde is so angry that she opens her purse, takes out the gun,  puts it to her head. The boyfriend yells, “No, honey, don’t do it.” The blonde replies, “Shut up, you’re next!”

A brunette, a redhead and a blonde all work in the same office with the same female boss.

 Every day, they noticed the boss left work early, so one day, the girls decided that when the boss left, they’d leave right behind her. After all, she never called or came back, so how was she to know?

One day, a blonde and a brunette are walking in the park when the brunette notices a dead duck. She turns to the blonde and says, “Oh, look at the poor dead duck.” The blonde looks up to the sky and asks, “Where?!”

After a small clothing shop had just been burglarized, a detective was questioning the blonde owner about how much she had lost. “It’s pretty bad,” she said, “but not as bad as it could have been had he robbed me yesterday.” “Why would you say that?” the detective asked, to which the blonde replied ”Because everything was on sale today!”

This hot blonde has a delivery for you, but do you have enough lead in your pencil to sign for her package?

One morning this blonde calls her friend and says “Please come over and help me. I have this killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can’t figure out how to start it.”

Her friend asks “What is it a puzzle of?”

The blonde says “From the picture on the box, it’s a tiger.”

The blonde’s friend figures that he’s pretty good at puzzles, so he heads over to her place. She lets him in the door and shows him to where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. He studies the pieces for a moment, then studies the box. He then turns to her and says: “First, no matter what I do, I’m not going to be able to show you how to assemble these to look like the picture of that tiger.”

A man was helping his blonde girlfriend clean out the trunk of her car. In the trunk, he found a bag labelled ‘Emergency Repair Kit’. When he looked a little closer, he noticed that there was a stick of dynamite inside the bag. Finding that a little strange, he asked the blonde what it was for. “It’s part of my emergency repair kit,” she replied. “I can see that, but why?” the man asked. “In case I get a flat and need to blow up one of my tires of course” the blonde explained.

A blonde was walking by an office building late one night and noticed a sign that read: Press bell for night watchman.” So, she did.

Soon she heard the watchman stomping down the stairs. The uniformed man proceeded to unlock first one gate, then another, shut down the alarm system, and finally, he made his way through the revolving door.

“Well,” he growled at the blonde, “what do you want?” “I just wanted to know why you can’t ring it yourself?” the blonde replied.

A blonde virgin told her grandmother that she was finally going out on her very first date. Her grandmother said, “Sit here and let me tell you about those young boys….

He is going to try to kiss you; you are going to like that, but don’t let him do it.” She continued, “He is going to try to feel your breasts; you are going to like that, but don’t let him do that. He is also going to try to put his hand between your legs; you are going to like that, but don’t let him do that either.” Then the grandmother said, “But, most importantly, he is going to try to get on top of you and have his way with you. You are going to like that, but don’t let him do that. It will disgrace the family.”