Hot Blonde Jokes

Even More Random Blonde One Liner Jokes

blonde — Sat, 09 Feb 2008 09:08:11 +0000

Why was the blonde excited when she finished the jigsaw puzzle in six months?
Because the box said 4 to 6 years.

What do you call a blonde with half a brain?
Gifted.

A blonde looked at her drivers license and got depressed when she saw that she got an “F” in sex.

How can you tell which blonde is the waitress?
She’s the one with the tampon behind her ear, wondering what she did with her pencil.

Randon Blonde One Liners

blonde — Sat, 09 Feb 2008 09:06:50 +0000

What do you get when you offer a blonde a penny for her thoughts?
Change.

Why do blondes write TGIF on their shoes?
Toes Go In First.

Why don’t blondes like to make Kool-Aid?
They can’t get eight cups of water into that little packet.

What’s the advantage of being married to a blonde?
You can park in the handicapped zone.

What do you call eight blondes in a freezer?
Frosted flakes.

Blonde on an Airplane

blonde — Thu, 10 Jan 2008 15:49:30 +0000

On a plane bound for New York the flight attendant approached a blonde sitting in the first class section and requested that she move to economy since she did not have a first class ticket. The blonde replied “I’m blonde, I’m beautiful, I’m going to New York and I’m not moving.”

Not wanting to argue with a customer the flight attendant asked the co-pilot to speak with her. He went to talk with the woman asking her to please move out of the first class section. Again, the blonde replied, “I’m blonde, I’m beautiful, I’m going to New York and I’m not moving.” The co-pilot returned to the cockpit and asked the captain what should he do.

The captain said, “I’m married to a blonde, and I know how to handle this.” He went to the first class section and whispered in the blonde’s ear. She immediately jumped up and ran to the economy section mumbling to herself, “Why didn’t anyone just say so?” Surprised, the flight attendant and the co-pilot asked what he said to her that finally convinced her to move from her seat. He said, “I told her the first class section wasn’t going to New York.”

Hot American Blonde Girl

blonde — Tue, 08 Jan 2008 23:18:50 +0000

I solemnly swear to protect the flag of the United States of America, even if I have to lay my body over it to keep it from harm….

The Blonde Kidnapper

blonde — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 21:52:07 +0000

This blonde woman was having financial troubles, when she decided to kidnap a child and demand a ransom. She went to a local park, grabbed a little boy, took him behind a tree and wrote this note:

I have kidnapped your child. Leave $10,000 in a plain brown bag
behind the big oak tree in the park tomorrow by 7 AM.

Signed - “The Blonde”

She pinned the note inside the boy’s jacket and told him to go straight home.
The next morning, she returned to the park to find the $10,000 in
a brown bag, behind the big oak tree, just as she had instructed. Also
inside the bag was the following note:

“Here is your money. I cannot believe that one blonde would do
this to another.”

Giving Some Head and Shoulders

blonde — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 21:47:49 +0000

A blonde and a brunette are catching up after having not seen each other for a long while, when the brunette says to the blonde, “Did you know that I’m married to Billy now?”
The blonde replies, “Really? No, I did’nt know that, but I used to date him. Isn’t he the one who had the really bad dandruff?”
“Yeah,” answered the brunette, “but I fixed that, I gave him some head and shoulders.”
The blonde looks really confused and after a few moments asks, “How do you give Shoulders?”

Blonde With a Hot Iron

blonde — Mon, 24 Dec 2007 12:06:10 +0000

A young man comes home from the office and finds his blonde bride sobbing uncontrollably. ”What’s wrong?” he asks.

”I feel awful,” she cried. “While I was pressing your suit, I burned a big hole in the seat of your trousers.”

“Don’t worry about it,” consoled the husband. “Remember that I have an extra pair of pants for that suit.”

“Yes, and it’s a darn good thing you do, too,” she replied, drying her eyes. “I used them to patch the hole.”

The Blonde Arsonist

blonde — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 23:22:18 +0000

Smitty lived next door to a beautiful blonde named Julie.

One evening, as he was driving home from work, he noticed his neighbor’s house was on fire. When he got closer, he saw Julie standing in the yard, watching the blaze. Stopping his car and getting out, he rushed over to her. “Julie, your house is on fire!” he exclaimed.

”Yes, I know,” a calm Julie replied. “Well, aren’t you going to do anything?” Eddie inquired. “Nah, let it burn,” Julie said. “I have enough lumber in the attic to build a new one.”

The Blonde House Painter

blonde — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 23:18:25 +0000

One day a blonde decides that she is so sick and tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart.

While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house.

The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand.

Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat. He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at the same time.

He goes over and asks her if she is OK. She replies yes. He asks what she is doing. She replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it by painting the house.

He then asks her why she has a ski jacket over her fur coat. She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and they said…FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS.

The Ugly Hot Blonde

blonde — Thu, 15 Nov 2007 14:24:08 +0000

Hey barflies! You remember the old saying? A 2 at 10, is a 10 at 2? Well, this is what they were talking about.