Hot Blonde Jokes

I solemnly swear to protect the flag of the United States of America, even if I have to lay my body over it to keep it from harm….

A blonde and a brunette are catching up after having not seen each other for a long while, when the brunette says to the blonde, “Did you know that I’m married to Billy now?”
The blonde replies, “Really? No, I did’nt know that, but I used to date him. Isn’t he the one who had the really bad dandruff?”
“Yeah,” answered the brunette, “but I fixed that, I gave him some head and shoulders.”
The blonde looks really confused and after a few moments asks, “How do you give Shoulders?”

Hey barflies! You remember the old saying? A 2 at 10, is a 10 at 2? Well, this is what they were talking about.

A brunette, a redhead and a blonde all work in the same office with the same female boss.

 Every day, they noticed the boss left work early, so one day, the girls decided that when the boss left, they’d leave right behind her. After all, she never called or came back, so how was she to know?

This hot blonde has a delivery for you, but do you have enough lead in your pencil to sign for her package?

A blonde virgin told her grandmother that she was finally going out on her very first date. Her grandmother said, “Sit here and let me tell you about those young boys….

He is going to try to kiss you; you are going to like that, but don’t let him do it.” She continued, “He is going to try to feel your breasts; you are going to like that, but don’t let him do that. He is also going to try to put his hand between your legs; you are going to like that, but don’t let him do that either.” Then the grandmother said, “But, most importantly, he is going to try to get on top of you and have his way with you. You are going to like that, but don’t let him do that. It will disgrace the family.”

A man asked that the blonde painter, paint him in the nude. “Oh no!” replied the talented artist. “I’m sorry, but I don’t do that sort of thing.” “I’ll pay you double your normal fee,” the man offered. “No thanks!” she replied. “Ok, I’ll give you five times what you normally charge,” the man said. The blonde artist thought about it for a moment and replied, “Well, all right, but you’ll have to let me at least wear my socks. I need somewhere to put my brushes!”

A young, blonde woman was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the ocean. Just as she was about to jump, a young sailor came by and saw her sobbing and tottering on the edge of the pier.

Taking pity on her, he said, “Listen, no matter how bad things may seem, you have a lot to live for. I’m heading to Europe in the morning and, if you like, I can stow you away on my ship. I promise I’ll take very good care of you and bring you food every day.” Moving closer, he put his arm around her and continued, “I’ll keep you happy, and you’ll keep me happy.” Feeling she didn’t have anything to lose, the blonde agreed to his suggestion.

One day while on patrol, a police officer pulled over a car for speeding. He went up to the car and asked the driver to roll down her window. The first thing he noticed, besides the nice red sports car, was how hot the driver was! Blue eyes, blonde, the works.

“I’ve pulled you over for speeding, Ma’am. Could I see your drivers license?”

“What’s a license???” replied the blonde, instantly giving away the fact that she was as dumb as a stump.

“It’s usually in your wallet,” replied the officer. After fumbling for a few minutes, the driver managed to find it. “Now may I see your registration?” asked the cop.

Every dog, errrrr, I mean, cat has it’s day…