Hot Blonde Jokes

On a plane bound for New York the flight attendant approached a blonde sitting in the first class section and requested that she move to economy since she did not have a first class ticket. The blonde replied “I’m blonde, I’m beautiful, I’m going to New York and I’m not moving.”

Not wanting to argue with a customer the flight attendant asked the co-pilot to speak with her. He went to talk with the woman asking her to please move out of the first class section. Again, the blonde replied, “I’m blonde, I’m beautiful, I’m going to New York and I’m not moving.” The co-pilot returned to the cockpit and asked the captain what should he do.

This blonde woman was having financial troubles, when she decided to kidnap a child and demand a ransom. She went to a local park, grabbed a little boy, took him behind a tree and wrote this note:

A blonde and a brunette are catching up after having not seen each other for a long while, when the brunette says to the blonde, “Did you know that I’m married to Billy now?”
The blonde replies, “Really? No, I did’nt know that, but I used to date him. Isn’t he the one who had the really bad dandruff?”
“Yeah,” answered the brunette, “but I fixed that, I gave him some head and shoulders.”
The blonde looks really confused and after a few moments asks, “How do you give Shoulders?”

A young man comes home from the office and finds his blonde bride sobbing uncontrollably. ”What’s wrong?” he asks.

 ”I feel awful,” she cried. “While I was pressing your suit, I burned a big hole in the seat of your trousers.”

“Don’t worry about it,” consoled the husband. “Remember that I have an extra pair of pants for that suit.”

“Yes, and it’s a darn good thing you do, too,” she replied, drying her eyes. “I used them to patch the hole.”

Smitty lived next door to a beautiful blonde named Julie.

One evening, as he was driving home from work, he noticed his neighbor’s house was on fire. When he got closer, he saw Julie standing in the yard, watching the blaze. Stopping his car and getting out, he rushed over to her. “Julie, your house is on fire!” he exclaimed.

 ”Yes, I know,” a calm Julie replied. “Well, aren’t you going to do anything?” Eddie inquired. “Nah, let it burn,” Julie said. “I have enough lumber in the attic to build a new one.”

One day a blonde decides that she is so sick and tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart.

While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house.

The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand.

Returning home from work one day, a blonde was shocked to find her house has been ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime. The police dispatcher had broadcast the call on the channels, and a K-9 unit patrolling nearby was the first to respond. As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps. Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, “I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman!”

A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. The blonde is so angry that she opens her purse, takes out the gun,  puts it to her head. The boyfriend yells, “No, honey, don’t do it.” The blonde replies, “Shut up, you’re next!”

One day, a blonde and a brunette are walking in the park when the brunette notices a dead duck. She turns to the blonde and says, “Oh, look at the poor dead duck.” The blonde looks up to the sky and asks, “Where?!”

After a small clothing shop had just been burglarized, a detective was questioning the blonde owner about how much she had lost. “It’s pretty bad,” she said, “but not as bad as it could have been had he robbed me yesterday.” “Why would you say that?” the detective asked, to which the blonde replied ”Because everything was on sale today!”