Hot Blonde Jokes

Why was the blonde excited when she finished the jigsaw puzzle in six months?
Because the box said 4 to 6 years.

What do you call a blonde with half a brain?
Gifted.

A blonde looked at her drivers license and got depressed when she saw that she got an “F” in sex.

How can you tell which blonde is the waitress?
She’s the one with the tampon behind her ear, wondering what she did with her pencil.

What do you get when you offer a blonde a penny for her thoughts?
Change.

Why do blondes write TGIF on their shoes?
Toes Go In First.

Why don’t blondes like to make Kool-Aid?
They can’t get eight cups of water into that little packet.

What’s the advantage of being married to a blonde?
You can park in the handicapped zone.

What do you call eight blondes in a freezer?
Frosted flakes.

On a plane bound for New York the flight attendant approached a blonde sitting in the first class section and requested that she move to economy since she did not have a first class ticket. The blonde replied “I’m blonde, I’m beautiful, I’m going to New York and I’m not moving.”

Not wanting to argue with a customer the flight attendant asked the co-pilot to speak with her. He went to talk with the woman asking her to please move out of the first class section. Again, the blonde replied, “I’m blonde, I’m beautiful, I’m going to New York and I’m not moving.” The co-pilot returned to the cockpit and asked the captain what should he do.

I solemnly swear to protect the flag of the United States of America, even if I have to lay my body over it to keep it from harm….

This blonde woman was having financial troubles, when she decided to kidnap a child and demand a ransom. She went to a local park, grabbed a little boy, took him behind a tree and wrote this note:

A blonde and a brunette are catching up after having not seen each other for a long while, when the brunette says to the blonde, “Did you know that I’m married to Billy now?”
The blonde replies, “Really? No, I did’nt know that, but I used to date him. Isn’t he the one who had the really bad dandruff?”
“Yeah,” answered the brunette, “but I fixed that, I gave him some head and shoulders.”
The blonde looks really confused and after a few moments asks, “How do you give Shoulders?”

A young man comes home from the office and finds his blonde bride sobbing uncontrollably. ”What’s wrong?” he asks.

 ”I feel awful,” she cried. “While I was pressing your suit, I burned a big hole in the seat of your trousers.”

“Don’t worry about it,” consoled the husband. “Remember that I have an extra pair of pants for that suit.”

“Yes, and it’s a darn good thing you do, too,” she replied, drying her eyes. “I used them to patch the hole.”

Smitty lived next door to a beautiful blonde named Julie.

One evening, as he was driving home from work, he noticed his neighbor’s house was on fire. When he got closer, he saw Julie standing in the yard, watching the blaze. Stopping his car and getting out, he rushed over to her. “Julie, your house is on fire!” he exclaimed.

 ”Yes, I know,” a calm Julie replied. “Well, aren’t you going to do anything?” Eddie inquired. “Nah, let it burn,” Julie said. “I have enough lumber in the attic to build a new one.”

One day a blonde decides that she is so sick and tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart.

While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house.

The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand.

Hey barflies! You remember the old saying? A 2 at 10, is a 10 at 2? Well, this is what they were talking about.